If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You
“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You,” a new A24 indie directed by Mary Bronstein, is one of those movies that sticks with you long after the credits roll — emotionally exhausting but ultimately very, very touching, particularly for anyone who has ever had to go through the drudgery of being a parent or been under enormous pressure in life. The story tells the tale of Linda, a burned-out mom and therapist, played by Rose Byrne, whose way is getting worse and worse.
Their little daughter has a mysterious chronic illness requiring a feeding tube, her husband is mostly gone, an enormous leak floods their house and leads them to the motel, and even her therapy sessions get more and more resentful. It is a mix of pitch-black comedy and raw anxiety-pitch drama, tapping into the never-ending pressure of something like Uncut Gems, though that is done through the lens of maternal fatigue.
The film stands really on Rose Byrne’s shoulders and she gives an incredible performance — arguably the best of her career. Famous for her sharp comedic timing in movies like Bridesmaids and Platonic, Byrne here heads straight into raw, unvarnished territory, and she paints a picture of Linda’s unraveling with arresting transparency. Each jolt of frustration and isolation and mounting desperation that flashes off in increments feel visceral and lived-in, never veering into hyperbole. It is a bold, career-defining departure that will always mean everything to the film as a whole; and an event that has already garnered all manner of serious awards recognition.
We also have interesting secondary players that offer interesting detail as well as interesting layers: Conan O’Brien surprises in a dramatic role as her unsympathetic therapist, while A$AP Rocky adds some crazy humor to the mix. This isn’t a light or comfortable watch — it can be tiring and very stressful, particularly for parents. But for those with taste in bold character-oriented indies that pack an emotional gut punch, it’s vital viewing. It makes a good 8/10, in large part because of Byrne as this powerhouse.
Lead image courtesy of A24
